Empathy Is a Leadership Superpower - Here’s 4 Steps To Apply It Better

Empathy is having a moment — and rightly so. It’s the theme of Mental Health Week. It’s the subject of leadership articles everywhere. And it’s showing up in data as one of the most in-demand leadership traits.

But for something we talk about so often, we don’t always know how to practice it. What does empathy actually look like in a fast-paced, high-pressure work environment?

Here’s the good news: empathy isn’t something you either have or don’t. It’s a skill — and like any skill, you can build it.

Why Empathy is Essential For Leaders

Recent research — and our own data at YMCA WorkWell — confirms what many of us already feel intuitively: when leaders practice empathy, employees are more likely to:

• Feel valued and respected
• Experience higher engagement
• Trust their organization
• Report better mental health

In fact, when employees are burned out, our reports show that a need for more empathy from leaders is tied with a need for more appreciation — just behind better work/life balance and manageable workloads.

Empathy isn’t a soft skill. It’s a leadership advantage.

First, Let's Redefine What Empathy Means

We hear that word a lot, but how do you actually define it? Turns out, that’s not so easy. There are multiple types of empathy. Most of us were taught that empathy is about “putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes.” But here’s the truth: we can’t actually know what it’s like to be someone else.

Empathy is about being curious, present, and willing to connect with the emotion behind the experience.

4 Practical Ways To Build Empathy at Work

1. Stop judging - Start Observing

Empathy starts when judgment ends. That voice in your head saying, “They’re overreacting,” or “Why would they feel that way?” — that voice shuts down connection.

Try mindfulness instead. Notice when you’re slipping into judgment and choose curiosity instead. Ask yourself: “What might be behind this reaction?”

You don’t have to agree with someone to empathize — you just have to try to understand.

2. Ask open questions.

Empathy thrives in dialogue — not assumptions. Open-ended questions can turn tension into understanding.

Try:

• “Can you tell me more about how you’re seeing this?”
• “What’s most important to you about this?”
• “How are you feeling about everything right now?”
• “I imagine how I’d feel — but how is it landing for you?”

These kinds of questions show you care, and they open the door to trust.

3. Listen to Understand, Not to Fix

We all want to help. But when we jump to solutions, we skip the step that people need most: to feel heard.

Active listening means:

• Putting down the mental script of your response
• Making eye contact
• Reflecting back what you hear (“It sounds like you’re feeling ___. Is that right?”)

Listening isn’t a passive act — it’s a powerful one.

4. Connect to emotion.

Brené Brown puts it perfectly: “Empathy is connecting to the emotions that underpin an experience.”

The more comfortable you are with naming emotions — your own and others’ — the stronger your empathy muscle becomes.

For example, if someone seems frustrated, you might say,

“It sounds like this has been exhausting, and you’re starting to feel stuck. Is that what’s coming up for you?”

You’re not labeling them. You’re checking in, offering connection, and creating safety.

A Final Thought (And Personal Story)

So, let me give you an example. My partner is writing a book. I offered to help with editing. As we neared the finish line, I gave feedback on a chapter that felt repetitive. He responded with irritation — and I felt my defences rise. I had a choice in that moment - to continue to escalate the situation or to follow my own advice.

And thankfully, instead of snapping back, I paused and said:

“You sound discouraged — like this process is never-ending. Is that where you’re at?”

That moment of empathy shifted the whole tone of the conversation. We were connected again — even in our frustration.

That’s the power of empathy. It doesn’t just smooth conflict. It deepens relationships.

The Bottom Line

Empathy at work isn’t just about being nice. It’s about being human. It’s about building trust, strengthening teams, and creating spaces where people feel safe to show up fully.

And yes — it takes practice. But every time you choose curiosity over judgment, listening over fixing, and connection over assumption, you’re building that muscle.

So this week, take a moment. Tune in. Ask one more question. Offer one more “I hear you.”

You’ll be glad you did — and so will your team.

Want to grow your team's empathy and communication skills? Book a free consultation with our team. We'd love to help.